Expansion festival, new moon, partial solar eclipse and equinox (September 2025)

Preparing sacred cacao for cacao ritual

I would like to share the feelings and processes that started at @expansionfest. At the gong bath @tjasacepus and @bostjansanic_zvoksrca I felt a part of me rises from my body and lifting. It has wings, but they are not white, they are dark gray, almost black. Like a burnt landscape around me, full of corpses, only tree stumps sticking out here and there. My chest feels tight, tears are flowing, so much sadness. What happened???

Then a voice says: "Something has to die so that something new can be born!"

It hit me. I felt how real it was...and it took me a while to calm down. That was on the first day of the festival, Friday.

On Sunday @luka_atih and @skadi_annandi @divinemandivinewoman led a fantastic workshop. Already during the "warm-up" it became clear that we would go deep. The incredible exercises moved and shook us all to the core, we all cried, became aware of many things and became grateful for things that we otherwise take for granted. Then came the "cherry on top of the cake" when they guided us into the cave, into our inner darkness, the basement.

I felt fear. Fear of what? Of the unknown. Then I felt all the injustice and disobedience and all the compulsion from kindergarten - what and how much I had to eat, who I had to play with and what I had to play with, how I couldn't even look at the ceiling, because at bedtime everyone was asleep except me - I had to close my eyes!!!

How many times I had to get over myself in this early childhood and how horrible it made me feel. All of this came flooding back. First I felt all the injustice done to me, then anger woke up and I screamed, screamed, screamed. Screamed. I pushed the floor under me with my hands and screamed...until I was so tired that I couldn't do it anymore. Then I remembered that I didn't want to go into contraction, but into expansion and I spread my arms and breathed. As deeply as I could.

It was a powerful process. Really powerful. The dusty basement shook and aired out. I felt much lighter even though I still walked around with burning eyes all day. I felt so much love and compassion for this little Petra!!! I let her know that this time she was SEEN AND HEARD!!! That she was safe, that she could express herself and feel what she really felt. That she could hang out with the people she chose, that she could do the things she chose.

2 weeks later....new processes...at the new moon, partial solar eclipse and equinox. The basement shook and aired again, and the motto this time is again: "Something must die so that something new can be born!" 🥰🙏

Thank you to all the performers, all the volunteers and @sandra SanYoga for the festival, for all the processes, support, workshops, gatherings...and for just being us! Together. For each other. 🙏🌈🌔🌿